TIVO is a Tool of the Devil

For more than two years I lived without TV.

Way back in 2005, we had someone come to do some brushing on our property, he accidentally cut the cable line. I'd already been thinking about discontinuing the cable service, and I took this event as a sign from Creator. Besides, I was just a week away from my annual journey to the Navajo Reservation, so I figured it would be easy enough to see how I fared without television over the course of the weeks until my return.

To tell the truth, I never really missed it. I did rent movies from Netflix on occasion, so it wasn't like I had nothing to watch. Besides, my neighbors, Frank and Deb, had quite a collection of videos that I could access.

In 2007 I moved in with a friend who had both cable and satellite, but for the most part we watched whatever he wanted, so I still didn't feel any real pull to change my viewing habits. Even so, my daughters began to talk to me about TIVO.

"Mom, you can find programs you want to watch no matter what time they're on. If there's a show on about Mt. Everest, you can always see it at your own convenience."

I should have known I was doomed when Nasreen offered to record on DVD all the episodes of "Everest: Beyond the Limit" for me. I watched those DVD's over and over because anything having to do with mountain climbing--especially in thae Himalayas--fascinates me.

Every once in a while the girls would make snide remarks about how THEY could watch anything they wanted anytime they wanted. I'd make equally snide remarks back about how "I don't watch TV."

When I moved in with Carol in February 2009, I started watching more TV, simply because I could. Carol wasn't home that often, and Foxy and Grey Eagle generally are not too demanding about the shows I put on. It was totally my choice. But that's also when I began to notice that a lot of the programs I'd really like to see were on at times not conducive to my viewing pleasure.

Farida and Nas, and even Jason, from time to time, would insinuate how much better my life would be with TIVO. In fact, Nas reminded me, she even had a TIVO she wasn't using that she could give me. To sweeten the deal, she'd throw in a year's subscription.

"It's Mother's Day next week. It'll be your present." I tried to protest that I didn't need a present, but secretly she'd convinced me. I'd at least give it a try. After all, what did I have to lose?

That was a big mistake, 'cause now I'm hooked. I love my TIVO. Oops, there I said it.

I set up my Wish List Searches every two weeks or so, so I can be sure to record everything I crave. I look for anything on Yellowstone, Yosemite, Grand Tetons, Alaska, Everest, mountain climbing. I also record A LOT of true crime and forensics. Anything on India and Pakistan and Iran. All of that is wonderful. The world at my fingertips.

What's NOT so wonderful is that now that I've recorded all of this, I have to actually WATCH it. I spend way more hours than are healthy making sure I don't miss anything. The idea, as everyone told me, is that you can watch shows at your convenience--but when you have so much recorded, you don't have as much convenience.

Of course, when I complained to my children about not having enough time to watch TV, my favorite son-in-law, sweetly replied, "but, Ma, you don't watch TV, remember?" He loves to make fun of me and my former scoffing at TIVO.

I blame TIVO for my current state of sloth and the backache I suffered during my walk today. (Don't even BEGIN to tell me that I have a choice in the matter.)

TIVO and the Rainbow vacuum. They're the roots of all evil.

But I'll leave the scourge of the Rainbow for another post.