Down with the Rainbow

In the interests of full disclosure, let me declare that before writing this post I did check Consumer Reports' opinion on the Rainbow vacuum. Seems like the CR testers kind of felt the way I did in the score they gave, but they didn't really explain why. Reviewers, however, mainly raved about it and took exception to CR's ratings. A fair number, however, noted the exact reasons why I despise it.

Today I celebrate the fact that I will never have to use a Rainbow vacuum again.

For those of you lucky enough to have never encountered a Rainbow, let me tell you that it is one of the most expensive vacuums available on the market, and one of the most despicable pieces of machinery I've ever met. I'd never even heard of it until I moved in with Carol last February. She has owned a Rainbow for many years and swears by it. I, however, had never met a vacuum where I had to have lessons to be able to use it, so this was a first. And I wished it had been my last.

The Rainbow comes in various parts, each of which are heavier than the average horse. It has a reservoir which must be filled with water to catch the debris it collects. The reservoir gets connected to the motor unit which gets joined with the beater unit and hoses. ALL of that then gets schlepped to the area you want to clean. Of course you have to drag this gigantic mess along with you as you move from room to room. It is NO exaggeration that my back would be in agony within minutes after starting to use this instrument of torture. Cleaning an entire 2,100 sq ft house with it is akin to being put on the rack. (Not that I'd know how that feels, I admit. I can use my imagination though. I've watched Inquisition movies.)

After completion of the cleaning, you have to empty the water reservoir somewhere because it is now filled to the brim with all the gunk it has collected from your house. I personally take it outside and dump it into the bushes where it will return to Mother Earth. You haven't begun to know "nasty" until you see what the Rainbow collects and deposits and churns into a gloppy mess. The Rainbow is especially known for its ability to pick up pet fur--and my two friends Foxy and Grey Eagle produce an inordinate amount, so that becomes the binding agent in the concoction. Ugh. Disgusting. And if you make the mistake of forgetting to empty and clean the reservoir, it begins to stink to high heaven within a couple of days.

So . . . perhaps you are beginning to see why I hate this torture device so.

Admittedly vacuuming is NOT one of my favorite activities, but I will do it if necessary. Unfortunately it got done way less than it should have when I had to face the awful Rainbow.

Last Monday I bought myself a Christmas/birthday gift:  An el-cheapo (but highly recommended) Dirt Devil upright. Gone are the days I will have to meditate for hours just to calm myself enough to vacuum the carpet. I set up the Dirt Devil yesterday afternoon, and I'm proud to say that I've already vacuumed twice.

Down with the Rainbow. Up with the Devil.